


Written Fantasies (A Batman Short Story)

by TowerofBabel



Series: Tales of the Bat Family [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:14:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TowerofBabel/pseuds/TowerofBabel
Summary: The Batcomputer has been hacked and several unauthorized files have been added. The Bat Family band together to solve this mystery and to find the criminal, but not everything is as it seems when one of the family has a secret of their own. When Tim Drake finds erotic porn hidden deep in the Batcomputer, he wants to find out who wrote it. But when he's caught by Alfred, he accidentally hits "send" to the rest of the team. OOPS!





	Written Fantasies (A Batman Short Story)

Tim Drake was the ever astute Robin and the third to take up the proud mantle along side Batman to fight crime in Gotham City.  
  
Tim was known to work himself to exhaustion which was why he was often found sleeping in the chair at the Batcomputer. But he felt he had to keep working for Batman and Gotham City. Crime didn’t sleep and neither should those who stopped, or at least that was Tim Drake’s philosophy. He was currently working at a console on the lower level of the Bat Cave. There were two main tiers to the Batcomputer, and he had full access on either level, but he worked mainly on the ground level.  
  
He was the third Robin, but he had to relinquish the title of “Robin” (solely) when Damian, Bruce’s biological son, came into the fold. Dick Grayson was the first Robin but now went by the crime fighter famously known as Nightwing. Jason Todd was the second Robin, but now went by the masked vigilante Red Hood, a name he stole from the Joker when the Clown Prince of Crime first began his criminal career (it was also a constant reminder of personal tragedy). Tim had been the third Robin, but now Damian Wayne held the name. Tim chose to change his name and became Red Robin, both out of respect for Bruce’s biological son, and it seemed to suit him better — much like Jason’s new name.  
  
But his stress levels always went up when Damian was around.  
  
_That little gutter-snipe. He always says he wants to kill me. Jokingly, of course. Maybe? ‘Once you’re gone, I can take my rightful place at my father’s side’, he once said._  
  
But Tim was here to say, and he knew Bruce appreciated his contributions to the Bat Family team.  
  
In fact, Nightwing once remarked Tim could take on some of the greatest chess masters in the world with his vast strategic intellect and win. Coming from Bruce’s first partner that meant a lot! The Batcomputer had a variety of challenging chess games, but even at its highest level Tim could defeat it easily.  
  
Today, however, Tim Drake had it easy. While everyone else was out on patrol, he was in the Bat Cave monitoring them all via GPS trackers and portable cams on their costumes, while he conducted computer systems checks.  
  
_Sometimes it’s intriguing just to watch the others work,_ he thought. He had several monitors open while he worked.  
  
The Batcomputer had been running slow lately and Tim had delegated himself to diagnose the problem. With any other computer system it wouldn't take long, but with Batman’s massive Batcomputer database, it was turning out to be an all day affair. He had to perform multiple diagnostics, retrofit the a new database mainframe logic circuit, search through massive amounts of redundant files, some for deletion, and. It was tedious work sometimes, and countless other tasks.  
  
But Batman said he was the best person for the job, and he was given full access because he was trusted implicitly.  
  
The computer was in the middle of a long diagnostics push, and there was nothing else to do, so Tim put his feet up on another chair and looked up at the ceiling of the Bat Cave. He was still at awe at how Bruce was able to carve out such a place underneath Wayne Manor. It was truly remarkable and with so much vastness to it.  
  
Amass it housed room for the massive Batcomputer, multiple tiers and platforms, the Batmobile at its centre, contained the change chambers where all their uniforms were housed, and there were countless caverns and slue-ways that connected a variety of adjacent storage spaces that contained so much else.  
  
And if you didn’t know where you were going could get lost in. Tim has gotten lost once. It took Dick Grayson to find him after a couple of hours of searching.  
  
The Batcomputer beeped and he turned slightly sheepish to it. The systems identified a rogue file folder had been found, hidden within an unknown sub-directory labelled STC. Sitting up straight, he asked the computer to identify its origins.  
  
_UNKNOWN_  
  
He thought this strange. Bruce was meticulous in properly labelling all files for easy retrieval.  
  
Tim tried to access the sub-directory without immediate success, it had a password. However, since he had full Administrative access he found a back way in. Once into the sub-directory, he clicked on the folder, and a series of files scrolled across the screen each numerically labeled 1 to 54, and each several megabytes.  
  
The files were not large and they wouldn’t lag the Batcomputer… So who put them here?  
  
He conducted a security scan, but no viruses were found. He had updated the Batcomputer with the latest virus checks, so he knew the scan could be trusted.  
  
Venturing, he opened #1 of the files labeled. It was not a report or dossier or anything Bruce or the others would write. Instead, it appeared to be a short story about ten pages long. Why would anyone hide a folder of short stories in a secret sub-directory?  
  
He found himself reading several paragraphs and thought whoever wrote this story had major literary skills. They were publishable too. But as he continued to read through it, the story began to take on a more adult theme, becoming very detailed in telling and downright graphic. So much indeed, in fact, that he began to blush. He swallowed and felt a drop of sweat run down the side of his face. If Batman ever caught him reading something like this on the Batcomputer, he’d be in major trouble.  
  
_Who in the world wrote this?_ It was a story about a lonely woman and a dark, mysterious stranger, who engage in a careless romantic rendezvous, merely to satisfy their carnal desires.  
  
He knew he should delete the folder, yet he kept reading. He couldn’t turn away.  
  
There came a sharp but elegant filled voice filling resonating within the quietness of the Bat Cave. “Master Timothy?” It was Alfred Pennyworth, the stately Wayne Manor butler.  
  
Drake slapped the keys on the computer to minimize the story. He thought he also hit another key too, but didn’t have time to decipher it as Alfred approached him. Alfred had made his way down to the Bat Cave and he was carrying a silver tray of treats and a tea pot. Tim tried to calm himself from the sudden start.  
  
Alfred said, “Master Timothy, your face looks slightly flushed. Are you okay?”  
  
Tim gave a quick glance at the Batcomputer, sighed relief that the file was minimized, then smiled at the dapper butler. “I’m fine, Alfred. I’m was focused in my work and didn’t see you coming until you called. Treats?”  
  
“Yes, sir, and tea,” Alfred said, slightly dubious. “I know when you’re enthralled in your work you forget to eat.” Alfred put a hand to Tim’s forehead. “Your temperature is up, sir, and you’re sweating. I’ll check the temperature readings; it does seem a little humid in the Bat Cave.”  
  
“I said I’m fine, Alfred. Don’t be such a Mother Hen.”  
  
Alfred cocked his head. “If I see fit, Master Timothy, I will be a Mother Hen. Someone has to take care of you when you fail to do so. You need your sleep. Often Master Bruce would have to carry you up to bed when he finds you sleeping at the computer.”  
  
Tim frowned apologetically.  “Sorry Alfred, maybe I have been working too hard.” And he settled in for few quiet moments of sweets as Alfred poured a cup of tea.  
  
After a few minutes, he felt refreshed.  
  
“Thanks Alfred, I needed that. You’re always so thoughtful. Now I need to get back to work. I need to finish this diagnostic before Bruce returns from patrol. The computer has been lagging as of late and I can’t figure out why.” In truth, he wanted to get back to reading the story.  
  
Suddenly the Batcomputer screen flashed with the face of Nightwing. Tim and Alfred looked.  
  
Nightwing was smiling big. “Hey Tim, riveting stuff,” he said, “although a bit risqué for you at your age.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Good evening, Master Dick,” Alfred greeted. “How goes the patrol?”  
  
“All wrapped up, nothing of note.”  
  
The picture split on the screen and aside Nightwing Red Hood’s helmet appeared in a separate box. Jason Todd lifted his face plate. He smiled. “Can’t wait to read more, kid. You’ve got talent.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Damian’s face then appeared in a separate box on screen, all three made a triangle. He looked ashen. “Why, Drake, why? I the opened the file thinking it was a crime report. But then…You’re one sick s.o.b.”  
  
Tim sat confused.  
  
“I thought the story was great! Very saucy!” Jason said.  
  
“What are you referring too, Master Jason?”  
  
“Oh no!” And Tim looked down at the computer keys. He thought he had accidentally hit more  than one key when he minimized the story he was reading, but wasn’t sure when Alfred came. He must have sent the story out as an all-out comm.  
  
The Bat Cave intercom zipped on, but no one spoke. Batman didn’t need to say anything for Tim to know he was pissed. Tim spoke to the open air. “I swear, Batman. I didn’t mean to—”  
  
“We’ll talk about it when I get back!”  
  
“But…”  
  
Suddenly all communication ceased. A remote access signal must have been sent out to shut down the Batcomputer. Batman must have done it as punishment to deny Tim access. The last image he saw was the face of Nightwing still smiling, Jason Todd giving him a thumbs up, and Damian with a wide-eyed look on his young face before the screen blinked out.  
  
“Master Wayne sounded very angry, Master Tim,” Alfred said. “Do you know why? What story?”  
  
And Tim Drake explained everything.  
  
x x x  
  
Dick was seated at a computer console Tim had occupied only an hour ago when he found the hidden sub-directory and Jason leaned over his shoulder both riveted to the screen. Both were reading Story #5 on a smaller screen due to its erotic and graphic nature. Tim was temporarily banned from the Batcomputer until things were explained.  
  
Dick scrolled the screen up, but Jason halted him. “Stop, I’m not finished,” he said.  
  
“You read too slow,” Dick snapped back.  
  
“I’m savouring it. Whoever wrote these stories has a vivid imagination.”  
  
“These kinds of written fantasies are often read by lonely housewives with boring husbands,” Dick said. “I’ve read a few crazy fan fiction stories average people write about anything at all and some of them are really good. They post them online and people rate them.”  
  
“I would rate this 9.8 out of 10,” Jason said.  
  
“Why only 9.8?”  
  
“Because I haven’t finished. Now stop scrolling up and let me read this page. She’s just finished chaining the dude up and is about to get the electric cattle prod.”  
  
“You’re enjoying this story way too much, Jason.”  
  
To Bruce, they sounded like children after finding a dirty magazine in a school yard, passing it around. “Shut if off, now!” he demanded.  
  
They both protested, but Dick complied.  
  
“Save the page for later,” Jason whispered to Dick. Dick nodded.  
  
They both turned to face Bruce. Bruce and Tim were seated in sitting area just to the right of the console. Tim had his head bowed apologetically. Damian was in the changing chamber undressing out of his costume. Bruce had purposely sent him away for the moment.  
  
“Master Bruce, it was an honest mistake,” Alfred voiced reason, defending Tim. “Although, how these stories got into the Batcomputer is a mystery if no party here wrote them.”  
  
“Well, Barbara was caught writing fan fiction on the Batcomputer to me once. Bruce temporarily banned her from the Bat Cave,” Dick put in. “Her stories were pretty good. But I doubt even she would write this explicitly. Unless she’s been reading up on some new tricks?”  
  
“Not helping, Dick,” Bruce said perturbed.  
  
“Whoever the mystery writer is could make a lot of money and needy women happy,” Jason added.  
  
“Focus, Jason, “ Dick said. He handed Jason a box of tissues. “You can read more later.”  
  
Jason eyed Dick. “Very funny,” and yanked the tissues out of Dick’s hand. Dick smirked.  
  
“Where did these stories come from?” Bruce asked, a little calmer.  
  
“I don’t know,” Tim answered defensively. “I found them performing diagnostics on the computer. It’s been slow lately. They were hidden well, not even would’ve found them unless I began an in-depth look.”  
  
Dick picked up his cell, everyone turned and witnessed him dial someone, and when the call connected, he said, “Hey Barb, Dick here. We’ve got kind of a sensitive issue, and I was hoping you can help?” And he explained what had happened. After a minute or more, the conversion ended. “She takes credit for the past fan fiction, but not for the soft core porn.”  
  
Alfred’s eyebrows rose. “Master Dick, children are present.”  
  
Damian entered the fray. “Who takes credit? Have you identified the author of the stories yet?”  
  
“Not yet,” Alfred replied.  
  
“The story sent to us was pretty raunchy, I admit, but I’ve read ruder,” Damian said. “I can recall while living in Switzerland with Ra’s al Ghul and Mother, I saw things that would make your head spin. Ra’s would have orgies with a harem of women in the Lazarus pool and other stuff like that.“  
  
“Have you now?” Bruce questioned. “Ra’s and I will have to have a little talk later.”  
  
Jason laughed. “I’d like to know to.”  
  
Bruce gave Jason a stern look.  
  
“Truthfully, I found these stories weeks ago,” Damian confessed. “Although if there are six more now than last I checked, either someone has outside access to the Batcomputer or someone here is lying.” And Damian looked straight at Tim.  
  
“I did not write those stories!” Tim shouted.  
  
Bruce put up a hand to calm him. He knew Tim and Damian had tension between them ever since Damian entered the fold and Tim had to relinquish the mantle of Robin becoming Red Robin. “I believe you, Tim. I know you would never write anything like this. My question now is to you, Damian. How come you never told me about those stories when you found them?”  
  
Damian hesitated, as if fearful to answer.  
  
Jason ruffled the boy’s hair. “‘Cos he was enjoying them. Weren’t you, squirt? Don’t be shy.”  
  
Damian slapped Jason’s hand away. “That is not the reason, Todd. I was conducting research. But I didn’t want to say anything until I could be positive.”  
  
“Have you read them all, Damian?” Dick asked.  
  
“Yes, and all have a common theme.”  
  
“We know, and they’re all probably rated R, and not for kids,” Jason added.  
  
Damian smacked his lips in annoyance. “Each story in one form has a secondary protagonist, a black cat,” he said.  
  
“A black cat?” Dick looked to Bruce. Jason had an inkling of their collective thought too. “Tim, get your magic fingers over here.”  
  
Dick relinquished his seat; Tim sat, turned to the console. “What should I do?”  
  
“Firstly, tell the computer to scan every story for the word ‘cat’. How many times does the word come up? Second, Damian, apart from cats — the female protagonist is obsessed with the seduction of men and using every tool at her disposal to get what she wants; the five stories I’ve read reaffirm this. Do the other stories hold the same theme?”  
  
Damian thought for a moment. “Yes, they do. And always with a dark, mysterious man.”  
  
Dick looked at Bruce again. They both seemed to agree without saying it.  
  
The computer completed the scan. “There are nine-hundred and sixty-nine mentions of the word ‘cats’,” Tim said. “I don’t see a connection, other than the protagonist loves cats.”  
  
Jason smirked. “Cats have nine lives and sixty-nine is reference to a man and a women when they are end to end. If it’s who I think it is, she’s done,” Jason said. “The stories are over.”  
  
“Six times nine is fifty-four, and there are fifty-four stories. If they means anything,” Tim added.  
  
Jason spoke. “Are we all on the same page?” Jason turned to Tim. But Tim was already ahead of him and he brought up the stats on Selina Kyle, aka, Cat Woman.  
  
“But how could she breach the Batcomputer?” Dick wondered. “There are several failsafes. And, if so, why would she write and store erotic stories here?”  
  
“For me to read,” Bruce said darkly. “She knew eventually I’d find them eventually.”  
  
“S-T-C. That could be an abbreviation for something and for the sub-directory so only she could find to store her short stories,” Dick expressed. “No wonder we couldn’t find them.”  
  
Tim immediately shut down the Batcomputer. “We’re dark now,” he said. “We may have some of the toughest firewalls on the planet, I should know, I created them, but nothing is impregnable.”  
  
Dick knew that was difficult for Tim to admit because he prided himself on his futuristic tech, but if someone had managed to breach the Batcomputer under his watch Dick knew Tim would take it personally. He and Tim were similar in that fashion that they took things to heart.  
  
“Now what?” Damian said. “We can’t use the Batcomputer anymore until the imposter here finds the problem!”  
  
Tim clenched his teeth. He hated when Damian called him ‘the imposter’ for being Red Robin. Often they would get into spats about their roles within the Bat family, then Dick or Bruce would have to interfere and give them a time out, each later apologizing.  
  
But that was something for later, Tim thought. He would be the better man this time.  
  
With the hum of the Batcomputer off and the BatCave eerily quiet, Tim listened. He knew every sound it made like an expert who knew cars. Any odd noise with the vehicle and that expert would notice. And he was hearing something odd like that now.  
  
Jason was asking Damian something about the content of the other stories he had read when Tim put a finger to his lips and hushed him. Then he tilted his head slightly and closed his eyes as if listening for a sound no one else could hear.  
  
Dick noticed Tim’s behaviour. “What is it?”  
  
Tim silenced Dick with a waving hand and everyone remained still for a moment. Tim leaned an ear in to the lower bulkhead of the console and listened intently. “Something isn't right, I can hear something in here.” He said further, “Something is ticking in here.” Tim went to remove the bulkhead, but Dick yanked him back.  
  
“Everyone get back! It could be a bomb!” Dick said.  
  
When everyone was safely back, Dick very carefully removed the bulkhead. He thought about scanning the interior first, but then thought against it. The scan may trigger it. So he took a chance. Inside, attached to an interior junction panel of the computer, was what looked like a mechanical cat clock with its tail wagging back and forth, it was the source of the ticking. The clock was the size of an open palm, was black, and had big white eyes.  
  
Everyone gazed inside.  
  
“Anyone want to hazard a guess who put that there?” Jason said.  
  
“But how the hell did Cat Women manage to break into the Bat Cave without the security system going off and install this without me knowing about it?” Tim added.  
  
“Tsk, tsk, boys,” came a voice from a sound box attached within the cat. “Your man cave was so easy to penetrate for a professional.” It was Cat Woman’s voice. “And I must say, those stories were not meant for young readers, Damian. Naughty, naughty little man!”  
  
“Is she live? Has she been eaves dropping on us?” Jason wondered. “And is this a bomb?”  
  
“Merely a clever designed bypass device.” Suddenly her face was plastered on the fully active  — if not remotely accessed — Batcomputer’s large console screen. She was in full Cat Woman black leather attire. Everyone stood. “I wouldn’t be so pedestrian as to plant an explosive device, dear Jason. I love you guys too much to harm you like that.”  
  
“How touching,” Dick said with his arms crossed. He knew the history between Bruce and Selina Kyle, and she knew each one of their secret identities. But kept silent. “Tell us how to remove it without damaging the Batcomputer.”  
  
Suddenly the device poof’ed with a small plummet of smoke, its circuits sizzled. Jason reached down and yanked it out before it could do any damage. He dropped it to the floor and its tale ceased to wag, dying. The screen remained unaffected as did the Batcomputer systems. But how did she still have control of the Batcomputer?  
  
“All this effort just to store some stories?” Damian asked. “Pretty lame.”  
  
“You miss the point, youngling,” Cat Woman addressed.  
  
Tim was already at another console accessing third party remote sources. After a quick search, he found Cat Woman’s access point. Some weeks back, if the first date stamp of Story #1 was any indication, everyone had an RPG first-person shooting contest online. It was games night. Of course, Tim had to give permission to the gaming network to the Batcomputer because it was the only computer that could handle the graphics. And he thought everything was secure. But there was a subroutine, now that he looked at it, that gave backdoor access to the Batcomputer that was missed when he thought he disengaged from the network and locked out the network.  
  
He realized now Cat Woman must be using this backdoor for remote access. Now that he found the problem he could easily fix it; the added user bandwidth may have caused the Batcomputer to lag. Unfortunately, Cat Woman had full administrative access, so he couldn’t just delete it. But he did have a way to lock her out. Just not yet, not until she explained everything.  
  
He had already figured out why she did this. It was a masterful challenge to break into the Bat Cave and gain access into the only sophisticated computer in Gotham; as simple as that.  
  
“You’ve over-stepped your bounds, Selina,” Bruce said. “Our off-and-on relationship does not include break-and-enter and sabotage.”  
  
“Aw, Bruce…You wound me,” she replied. “But my intention was not to cause any damage.”  
  
“You write well, Cat Woman,” Damian spoke up.  
  
“Thank you, Damian.” Cat Women smiled. “At least someone has enjoyed my writing. But how did you find my stories, little one?”  
  
Jason smirked “The tater-tot was probably searching for ‘cat’ videos and pressed the wrong button.”  
  
Damian growled like an angry animal. “Tim, good news! You’re off the hook. I’ve decided to kill Jason instead!” Damian growled, and Dick held him back.  
  
“Been there, done that, and brought back an Ungrateful Dead t-shirt,” Jason snarked back.  
  
Dick held Damian still, Bruce put up a hand to silent his son. “Damian is smart. Regardless, it makes me rethink our entire security measures,” Bruce said.  
  
“You’re always so serious, Bruce. You never had time to play with me, hence the fantasies,” Cat Woman replied. Dick snickered, and Bruce gave him a hard stare. Dick looked away. “Well, too-da-loo,” she continued. “I have things to do.”  And she blew Bruce a kiss.  
  
“Stay honest Selina,” Bruce said sincerely.  
  
“I’m always true to myself, Bruce. If you’d read the stories, you’d know that. Pity they went up in smoke. The cat was my storage device. Only the kitten got to read my masterpieces.”  
  
The screen went blank.  
  
“Yes, pity her stories went up in smoke. They were pretty juicy,” Jason said.  
  
“I saved them to a USB drive,” Damian said off-handedly, “every one except for the last six, that is.”  
  
Everyone looked dumbfounded at the pint-sized pre-teen. He wiggled out from Dick’s grasp and then walked away, as if it was no big deal.  
  
“Kids grow up so fast,” Jason said. “Hey Damian, wait up for a moment. About those stories…”  
  
They did indeed, Bruce agreed, and way too fast, as he observed Jason follow Damian.  
  
Tim switched seats and opened the DOS of the Batcomputer. “Time to get to work,” he said. “Cat Woman’s caper has shown me I have a lot of work to do on the security protocols.”  
  
“And we — Dick and I — have to find out where Selina slipped into the Bat Cave unnoticed,” Bruce said.  
  
And Dick agreed. “A spelunking Easter Egg hunt, how exciting” he said. He brought up a map of the cave systems on another console. “Boy, things have certainly changed a lot since I was his age. The internet has greatly changed the world.”  
  
“It has indeed, Master Dick, and not for the better, in my opinion,” Alfred said. “The world has become a scary place. Luckily there are protectors like you to help safeguard what’s left.”  
  
Dick smiled. “That’s Alfred, that means a lot.”  
  
“Ms. Selina Kyle knows your secret identities,” Alfred continued, “but I highly doubt she would do any real damage or jeopardize your wellbeing to the Rogues. She is not that kind of person. My main concern is what sort of impression did her stories have on Master Damian. From what little I read of them, they were pretty crass in context.”  
  
“Only one way to find out. Time to conduct some good old fashion research.” And Dick left to follow Jason.  
  
Bruce stood next to Alfred. “Boys will be boys no matter their age, eh Master Wayne?” Alfred then left to proceed with his duties, leaving Bruce alone.  
  
Bruce smiled thinly. Despite the context he knew things could be worse. He had a pretty normal family, if one could call it that, and he was happy to know that even with all their quirks they were his, all his boys. And he was proud of them all.  
  
He turned to Tim and placed a hand on the teen’s shoulder. Tim smiled to himself.  
  
They both got down to work.  
  
  
END.


End file.
